Tips for surviving the holiday season in a creative business

The silly season is here! This time of year can be a busy and stressful time in a creative business. Here are some useful tips on what you can do to survive the season and come out the other side feeling healthy, refreshed and energised, from Sally Cumming, director at Engage Health, a provider of mental health, resilience and injury prevention programs.

Plan ahead

Being organised in the busiest of times can make you more efficient and less stressed. Planning and organising the tasks in advance will leave you time to concentrate on what you need to complete at that time.

Be mindful

Mindfulness meditation is very effective in reducing stress levels and changing pathways to improve thought patterns. It also activates the right side of the brain, which enhances creativity—something that can benefit you all year round.

You can learn how to do this by listening to guided mindfulness recordings. (We love the free Smiling Mind guided meditation app.) Try practicing mindfulness meditation during everyday routine activities, such as cleaning, cooking, shopping, brushing your teeth and showering. Notice when your mind wanders away from what you are doing and gently bring it back. Over time, this will create new neural pathways in the brain, enabling you to remain more focused, calmer and less likely to react when the tension rises.

Recognise stress

With practice, you can learn to recognise and identify your stress triggers, helping you stay in control when the pressure builds. Like any skill, mindfulness takes self-exploration, discipline and regular practice. We all have the ability to remain calm and to avoid burnout if we learn how to recognise the early signs of stress and how it affects us.

The first step is becoming aware of our triggers. How does stress manifest itself in your body? Do your neck and shoulders appear tighter? Does your mind race, your heart beat faster or your stomach feel like it is in knots? These are all common physical sensations associated with the stress response and are different for each person. Paying close attention to these early signs of stress will allow you to stamp it out early.

Come to your senses

It is important to recognise that the body’s ‘fight, flight, freeze’ state is a hard-wired physiological response to a perceived threat. The body can also overreact to stressors that are not life-threatening, such as work pressures, traffic jams, and so on. The good news is you can outsmart this overactive physiological stress response by engaging the five senses. The practice of using your senses immediately sends a signal to the brain’s limbic system to let the body know it is safe from harm and danger. This rapidly stabilises your emotions and will calm and ground you in the present moment.

Learn to relax

We all need to find balance. It is not always easy to remember that taking the time for relaxation and/or exercise is just as important as getting work done. Each morning when you wake up, try staying in bed for five minutes and doing gentle breathing to allow the mind to become still. This will elicit the relaxation response, lower your blood pressure and release any muscle tension.

To de-stress at any time, try this simple relaxation exercise: breathe in through your nose for a slow count of three, allowing your belly to fully expand with air. Breathe out through your mouth for a slow count of five. Continue for five minutes. Follow the breath as it comes into and leaves the body. Be mindful of any unhelpful thoughts and let them pass through the mind.

Be active

Try to do some exercise every day. A brisk walk, light jog, bike ride or swim will do wonders for your mind and body. Being active will also relieve stress, improve sleep and increase your energy levels. Aim for 30 minutes of aerobic exercise five times a week. If you are already doing this, increase it to 45 minutes. If you exercise three times a week, move it up to five times a week. Studies have proven aerobic exercise suppresses the stress hormone cortisol, which has also been linked to excessive weight storage around the midsection, so suppressing it could benefit you both ways.

Be safe

Slowing down and being mindful will also protect your body from harm. If you are at markets packing boxes for delivery or lifting heavy objects, always ensure your spine and body are in the correct position. Before lifting, make sure there is an obvious ‘S’ shape in the spine and avoid undesirable ‘C’ shaped curvatures. Maintaining a lumbar curve is extremely important to ensure the lower back does not take unnecessary load or strain. To do this, widen your stance and stick out your bottom (similar to sitting down onto a chair or a weightlifter’s squat). Always brace your abdominal muscles and use your glutes and leg muscles to lift the load. Regular stretching and flexibility exercises will ensure your spine stays in a healthy position.

Remember to laugh

Laughter is one of the best ways to reduce stress, so don’t forget your sense of humour. The times when we start to lose it are the times we need it most! Try to enjoy this busy season and plan effective strategies to help you stay in control and stay safe.

Happy Festive Season!

Sally Cumming is the director and lead corporate wellness consultant for Engage Health. She is a certified mindfulness practitioner with the Mindfulness Training Institute of Australia as well as an ESSA-accredited exercise physiologist. Follow Sally on Instagram (@engage_health) or LinkedIn.

Jes Egan is a ‘practical creative,’ doing the business in a digital agency, being an artist and an university lecturer. Follow Jes on Instagram (@paper_chap). 

Are you hearing (creative) voices?

We’re all familiar with the inner critic when it comes to our creative work, but what other sub-conscious voices may be impacting our creativity? I have a theory (influenced by a form of psychotherapy called transactional analysis), that we all have a bunch of internal drives or “voices” vying for our attention in our creative life (an internal dysfunctional family of sorts!).

All these creative voices have a role to play – they’re there for a reason, but frequently they work at cross-purposes creating a sort of chaotic brawl in your head, which isn’t great for your creative mindset, confidence or productivity! As a creativity coach, one of the things I can help people with is to understand their internal creative voices, and help them to play nicely with each other (sort of like family therapy!).

Here’s a quick snapshot of just some the creative voices we have sitting behind the scenes (these are just the main ones – the nuclear family, if you will).

Critic

We all know the inner critic – that loud, judgmental one making you doubt yourself. She’s linked directly with your creative confidence. It’s tempting to dismiss her entirely her, but she actually has an important role to play, and that is to keep you safe. She’s acting on a primitive level where risk equals danger, so she tries to stop you putting yourself in precarious situations (e.g. sharing your work with others where there’s a risk of social rejection).

Unfortunately, she’s not very discriminating, in that she shouts all manner of things at you - both useful critique about your work (e.g. “that paragraph doesn’t sound great - you should move it”), and judgmental, personal comments (“you’re a crap writer – what made you think you could do this!”). Coaching can help you to tune in to her constructive comments and tune out the rest. Once you turn a deaf ear to the negative white noise, you’ll find she’s actually not so bad.

Cheerleader

The opposite role to the Critic is the Cheerleader – that fearless, overly enthusiastic, and carefree voice that tells you that anything’s possible. It’s great to have her positive voice boosting your confidence, proclaiming you’ll be the next Shakespeare or Mozart, but this cheerleader doesn’t spend much time with her feet on the ground, so she’s a little out of touch with reality. Plus her rebellious streak doesn’t care much for your safety, so she’s happy to throw her weight around with little thought for consequences.

Needless to say, Inner Critic and Cheerleader are in constant battle with each other. Like the Inner Critic, her voice matters, but she should only be taken in small doses (plus she can be super annoying at times!), and balanced out with the other voices.

Child

The inner creative Child is a bit all over the place - she can whisper or yell depending on her mood. Like all the voices, your inner creative Child has two sides to her. She can be curious, playful, imaginative and energetic, for example the excited feeling when struck by inspiration, or the bursts of energy you feel when starting a new piece of work. Unfortunately she can also be moody, needy, erratic and egotistical, for example, whining that she doesn’t want to get back to work, or demanding that your partner drop all his prior commitments to pick you up a tube of paint.

There’s different ways to deal with your inner creative Child when she’s cracking it. She can be tricked or bribed into behaving, or you may want to use your inner Competitor to put her in her place.

Competitor

Your inner creative Competitor takes an opposite role to the Child – although both like to play games. Think of your Competitor like a serious athlete. On the plus side, she’s disciplined, focused, organised and hardworking – you get stuff done! She knows exactly what she wants and she’ll do anything to get it, but this level of control comes at a price. This disciplined workaholic can hinder your creative freedom, distance you from other parts of your life, or push you to the point of mental and physical exhaustion. Sometimes the inner Competitor just needs to take a chill pill.

The Competitor-Child interplay is an interesting one. When they’re both at their best, this pairing works really well – your Child helps soften your Competitor’s hard edge, and your Competitor provides the scattered Child with some much needed structure. If these two roles become unbalanced however, things can get messy!

Coach/Counsellor

Your inner Coach is the perhaps the most important role of all because she acts as a central, neutral point between the other voices. Hers is a voice of reason, empathy and objectivity. Think of her like the family therapist working with the dysfunctional family. If your inner Coach is strong, the balance between the other voices will be maintained. She’ll help to bring out their positive sides so they work together, not against each other. If however, your inner Coach is inexperienced or a bit timid, she can easily find herself overwhelmed, and won’t be able to keep the other inner voices in check. At the extreme end this could look like your Competitor coldly dictating to, and attempting to control your Child, who’s flailing around having a massive tanty.

Meanwhile your Cheerleader is running about aimlessly shouting empty motivational phrases (“You can do it – yay!”), and on the sidelines your Inner Critic is on her high horse, looking down on everyone, pointing the finger and shouting insults. Let’s not play this mental game!

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The trick with our creative voices is to listen and acknowledge them all, understand their motivations and differentiate between their constructive and destructive sides. Just like real life family members, we’re stuck with them so we need to learn to live in harmony rather than conflict.

Creativity coaching can help ensure all your voices are heard, understood and their constructive sides developed. Most importantly, creativity coaching can help build up your inner Coach so you can maintain a healthy creative life (and your sanity!).

Bronya Wilkins is a creativity coach and founder of Creative Cocoon, a coaching practice dedicated to helping people connect with their creativity to increase wellbeing and life fulfilment. Bronya is passionate about psychology, self-development, and creative expression. Some of her creative hobbies include dance, graphic design, music composition, and photography. For more about Bronya and Creative Cocoon, visit her website and Facebook page, or follow her on Instagram and Twitter.

Allow creativity to fill the vacant spaces in your life

In my creativity coaching practice at Creative Cocoon, I’ve found that although most clients come to me for help with larger creativity projects, they often report the most significant positive change from our work integrating creativity into their everyday lives. Integrating creativity into their everyday lives—huh? What does that even mean?

Many people use the term “everyday creativity” to describe the creative thinking involved in solving everyday problems, such as using a paper clip to poke out the SIM card in your phone. I prefer to use it to refer to integrating creative and artistic thinking and expression into our daily activities, something I call micro-creativity.

What is micro-creativity? In my definition, micro-creativity refers to small, self-contained creative or expressive activities that you perform in your daily life. The main purpose of micro-creativity is to strengthen your creative habits without the anxiety often associated with larger projects. You can also think of it as creativity for creativity’s sake. Here are some examples:

• Whilst waiting for your son to get out of school, you people-watch and imagine their backstories and personalities.
• On your morning tram ride, you write short poems to express your current state of mind.
• During lunch breaks, you wander the streets and take photos of details that catch your eye.

Benefits of micro-creativity You can’t substitute all of your downtime with micro-creativity; your brain would fatigue. But sacrificing just a small chunk of mental “lazy time” each day can, I believe, result in many benefits, including:

• Increased creative problem solving. Tapping into your creativity at random times strengthens the connection between your logical and creative minds, which helps with problem solving in your work, creative, and personal lives.
• Increased self-awareness. The more you interact with your creativity, the better you understand and appreciate its existence, warts and all. Building a stronger relationship with your creativity can benefit your creative process and help you develop your sense of self.
• Increased confidence. The more you practice, the better you become. By improving skills, you gain confidence and a sense of capability in your creative life.
• Increased wellbeing. Creative self-expression without boundaries, deadlines, or judgment can help you work through personal issues and channel emotions (although self-guided creative therapy is no substitute for professional help).
• Increased discipline. Practicing daily micro-creativity gets you into the habit of regular creative expression, which can help reduce anxiety (and procrastination) around your larger creative projects.
• Increased observation skills. Micro-creativity can help improve your observational skills, which are key for creative thinking and expression.

When and how to micro-create You can micro-create whenever you have mental downtime, which means whenever your full attention is not focused on another task. Some examples include:

• Waiting in queues
• Riding public transport or as a passenger in a car
• Walking
• Taking lunch breaks
• Swimming laps or running on a treadmill
• Cleaning
• Showering or bathing
• Waiting on hold on the phone
• Resting

Micro-creativity activities are limited only by your imagination. Some examples are listed below, but be creative and make up some of your own.

• Take photos of interesting details.
• Write a poem.
• Write stream of consciousness.
• Draw or photograph self portraits over multiple days.
• Watch people and make up their backstories.
• Tune into your senses and record what you see, hear, smell, taste, and touch.
• Play a word game, such as a rhyming game.
• Doodle mindlessly or draw patterns.
• Record a voice memo of your observations or thoughts (as if you were a private detective).
• Imagine life from someone else’s perspective. What are they experiencing in that moment?
• Write a letter to your future self, then reply as the future self back to your present self.
• With headphones on, listen to music and imagine what the music would look like if it were a painting.

Conditions In order for your exercises to count as micro-creativity, you need to meet the following conditions:

• Don’t think, just do. Don’t overthink the activity. Tune into “doing” mode (rather than “thinking” mode) for the duration of the activity.
• Minimise judgment and pressure. Put your inner critic aside and accept whatever comes out as part of the process. There is no “good” or “bad.” To help, imagine a child has done the exercise. You wouldn’t judge her on the final work; you would simply be proud of her for putting in the effort.
• Choose your content. Work with content unrelated to your current projects to reduce the risk of anxiety. After a while, you’ll be surprised how often random creative exercises turn into something bigger or link back to a larger project.
• Keep it quick and dirty. Limit your exercises to between five and fifteen minutes. Any longer and your inner critic will step in. If it helps, set a timer. Remember, it’s the process that counts, not the result.
• Commit. Commit to at least one activity a day, even when you don’t feel like it. Routine and persistence bring the longer-term creative benefits. Think of it like brushing your teeth. If it helps, decide on a regular time and set a phone alert or calendar entry.
• Minimise distractions. Try to minimise distractions whenever possible.
• Enjoy yourself. The more you enjoy an activity, the more likely you are to continue doing it. Choose exercises that are meaningful, fun, and enjoyable.
• Change it up. Be creative and choose different activities from day to day. The examples above are just the tip of the iceberg.

Additional resources If you'd like to read more about integrating creativity into your everyday life, I recommend the following books:

• Just Do Something, by Mykel Dixon
• The Creative Habit, by Twyla Tharp
• How to Be an Explorer of the World, by Kerri Smith
• The Creativity Challenge, by Tanner Christensen
• Flow, by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Bronya Wilkins is a creativity coach and founder of Creative Cocoon, a coaching practice dedicated to helping people connect with their creativity to increase wellbeing and life fulfilment. Bronya is passionate about psychology, self-development, and creative expression. Some of her creative hobbies include dance, graphic design, music composition, and photography. For more about Bronya and Creative Cocoon, visit her website and Facebook page, or follow her on Instagram and Twitter.

Podcasts for creatives

We love podcasts here at Creative Women's Circle. The combination of narrative storytelling + in-your-ear intimacy + inspiring interviews makes podcasts the perfect medium for busy creative ladies. Stick your earbuds in and get a dose of creative inspiration while you are working, wandering or waiting.

Here are some of our faves...

Design Matters

Running since 2005, Design Matters is (probably) the world's first design podcast. Host Debbie Millman interviews designers, creators and big thinkers from Alain de Botton through to Lisa Congdon.

Must listen episodes: Amanda Palmer, Oliver Jeffers, and Chip Kidd

After the Jump

Hosted by Grace Bonney from design blog behemoth Design*Sponge, Grace and her guests give nitty gritty business advice on branding, the real cost of business and how to make the most of social media. They also dive into the inspirational and emotional side of creativity and business with talks on work/life balance, productivity, finding your voice and living the life you want.

Must listen episodes: Sex and the City designer Lydia Marks, The Hidden Costs of Independent Design, and 10 Habits of Healthy and Happy Business Owners

The Jealous Curator's Art for Your Ear

Behind-the-scenes info and news about talented contemporary artists. Host Danielle says 'You'll hear first-hand from these talented, successful, full-time artists (who also happen to be regular people with hilarious stories) BEFORE they’re in the Art History books.'

Must listen episodes: Lisa Golightly, Terrence Payne, and Erin M Riley

The Lively Show

The Lively show is a weekly podcast designed to uplift, inspire, and add a little extra intention to your everyday. Episodes touch on various aspects of our lives including possessions, personal habits, relationships, and career. Entrepreneurship and online business also appear from time to time.

Must listen episodes: My Top 10 Lessons From My “Lively Adventure”, Fulfilling Your Soul in a different, creative way & Impostor Syndrome with Jasmine Star, and How to take big + small steps towards a zero waste lifestyle with Bea Johnson

The Moth

Not about creativity per se, The Moth is a collection of recordings from live storytelling events around the world. It has been around for years and is full of hilarious, poignant and surprising observations.

Must listen episodes: The Lollipop Boy, Hitchhiking, Mosh Pit, and Iggy Pop, and To Bid or Not to Bid

Conversations

Incredible conversations with Australia's best interviewer Richard Fidler, these podcasts cover everything from history to science, celebrities to ordinary people. Conversations is released four days a week and features people from all walks of life.

Must listen episodes: Jon Ronson: public shaming in the digital age, James Earl Jones beat a childhood stutter to build a career on his voice, and Helen Razer champions rational thinking

The New Normal

Okay, so obviously we are biased as The New Normal is hosted by myself and CWC President Tess McCabe, but we chat to many excellent mothers about all things creativity, business and parenting. There's something there for both parent and non-parents alike!

Must listen episodes: CWC members Martina Gemmola, Annette Wagner and Julia May

How to succeed as a multi-passionate creative

By Bec Mackey

Do you find yourself pulled in different directions by your work and your creative projects? Are you easily distracted by a new idea or flash of inspiration, only to abandon it again shortly afterwards? Or maybe you’re trying to juggle working and paying the bills with a creative side project, and finding it hard to manage both at the same time. You may beat yourself up for being fickle, unable to commit, or to make a clear decision. But despite what we’re told by society, not everyone is built to have just one linear career path, and being easily distracted isn’t necessarily a bad sign. If any of the above resonates with you, it may just be that you are multi-passionate.

Being multi-passionate is a gift, so embrace it! There are many people out there who would kill to have your energy, curiosity and ability to see inspiration everywhere. Multi-passionate people can draw connections where others see nothing, and this is a highly valuable skill, particularly if you work in a creative industry – or would like to.

However, having so many interests and ideas can feel like a burden at times, and indecision about which path to take and what to focus on can contribute to a lack of confidence. It may seem like all external messages are telling you to commit and let go of all of your competing ideas – to settle down and choose your niche. If you don’t have just one job, title or simple elevator pitch to sum up what you do, its easy to feel isolated.

Multi-passionate people are almost always highly sensitive and very creative. This sensitivity, although an incredibly valuable trait for artists, communicators and business owners, means you probably pick up on a lot things, both negative and positive, that others don’t. If others have judged you for being changeable, or all your friends and family have solid careers and can’t understand your various interests, you may have taken this to heart and let it stop you from embracing your multi-passionate nature. This can lead to confusion, lack of motivation, and sometimes paralysis about which path to take next.

Here are some tips to help you move forward and thrive as a multi-passionate creative:

• Let go of the need to define yourself by one job title or career path. It may seem that this is a cultural expectation, and that many people you know define themselves by their job title. But if you’re multi-passionate, it won’t help to try and fit yourself into just one defined category. Be true to yourself – own your diverse skill set and know that there is a place for you too.

• Find a tribe of like-minded multi-passionates. Look out for other people who value curiosity and exploration in their career, and are interested in many different areas. It can stimulate your energy levels to be surrounded by others who get excited about new ideas and have a range of projects on the go. And when things get challenging, you’ll have friends and colleagues around that understand where you’re coming from and can support you without judging your hybrid career. You might even discover someone wonderful to partner up with – multi-passionates are great collaborators!

• Read about the profound things multi-passionate people (sometimes referred to as polymaths) have done through the ages. Having a defined, specific ‘thing’ to do for work is a relatively modern phenomenon. Even in more recent times, the revolutionary multi-passionates are there if you look for them. Maya Angelou is a fantastic example of a polymath who defied categorisation in her work. She may be most famous for her poetry, but she was also an accomplished dancer, journalist, editor, teacher and activist (who worked for Martin Luther King, no less!).

• Define your overall ‘why’ and then you will have a long term vision that will help with direction and focus. Watch Simon Sinek’s famous TED Talk ‘Start With Why’ and complete a simple ‘why’ exercise for yourself. Focus on what motivates you in life generally, rather than worrying about defining your why for multiple projects or business ideas. Discovering what motivates you and what is important to you will provide you with a compass of sorts, and help you understand yourself better.

• Resist the urge to do everything at once. Get good at time management or find help from a coach or course to enhance your skills in that area. You’ll feel better once you are taking small steps, even if its simultaneously in a couple of directions.

• Don’t give in to the paralysis that can come with having too many ideas. Choose one of your most dominant ideas– one that hasn’t gone away for a long time, or one of the most viable, and run with it. The upside to this is once you start to see progress, your confidence will increase and you can get out there and impact the world as only a vibrant, multi-passionate person can!

Bec Mackey is a writer, teacher and producer of screen-related things. She uses a decade of experience in the business sides of media and arts to help creative people fund and promote their work in ways that work for them. Bec writes about funding, promotion, creative careers and life on her website, Brightside Creatives.

How to chuck a sickie when you're self employed

By Jes Egan

Taking a sickie when you are running your own small business can be a very hard thing to do, with too much to do and no-one other than yourself or a few employees to pick up the slack. Sometimes it’s harder to accept illness and take a day to recover than it is to just keep on going and to put your health on the back burner.

When you are running a small creative business you are often doing a bit of everything, if not everything and having a day off sick can mean that things don’t get done on time or get done at all and this can lead to a loss of income, unhappy clients, delays etc. But sometimes an illness or bug will just stop you in your tracks.

Don’t feel guilty about taking a day to look after yourself, to be able to continue your business running you need to be fighting fit. And to do this sometimes it means you have to spend a day or two in bed, doing nothing, other than resting and recovering.

Here are a few of my tips on how to manage such days when they come around:

Write a list

Write down all the things you were planning on getting done that day, the little things plus the big things. Put it all down on paper or online so that it is out of your head.

Prioritise

Look at that list and prioritise it: is there anything that absolutely has to be done this day? If so, is it something that can be done from your bed or couch? Move all other non-vital tasks to the next day or later that week.

Delegate

If you have the option to delegate anything from that list then do so. Getting help where you can is really important to reduce your workload on these sick days. If you need to deliver, pick up, place an order etc then ask a friend or relative if they could help you out with that task.

Do it early

If you have to do something that can’t wait and that no-one can help you with, then do it early in the day so you can rest and not worry for the rest of the day. Get it over and done with so it isn’t weighing on your mind.

Manage expectations

If there is a knock-on delay for delivery from you taking a day or so, send a few emails and let people know that this is coming. Manage their expectations so when you are back you have less work to tidy up. It will also stop people chasing you up and hopefully stop any anxiety you may have about the delay. If you are a heavy email user, put your out of office message on, if it is an option. Once you have done what you need, turn your emails or phone off and try to rest fully without distraction.

Don’t feel guilty

Taking time out to look after yourself can be easier said than done - try not to feel guilty or worry about it. Stress doesn’t encourage recovery!

Taking time out and not continuing on is sometimes not an option, but either is looking after yourself. So where you can reduce the workload when you’re sick and take a day to focus on you, because without you there is no creative business.

Jes is a ‘practical creative’ and a very busy lady, doing the business in a digital agency, being an artist and an university lecturer. Follow Jes on Instagram.  

Creative blues: five common fears and how to beat them

By Emma Clark Gratton

Working for yourself or passionately following a creative project requires a level of mental toughness and self-confidence that is hard to maintain. Dealing with rejection, financial challenges, working long hours with just yourself as taskmaster… all these things can build up until you are having an existential crisis before your morning coffee.

To make it even more difficult, these days of stunning Insta feeds and #humblebragging tweets can feel that everyone else is kicking goals while you are still slogging away. The reality? Even Frida Kahlo and Gertrude Stein and Madonna have done crappy work, and spent days pottering around in their pyjamas eating toast and not producing much. The people who are at the top of their game aren’t talking about it on Facebook, they are simply doing the work.

Here are some of the most common fears, self-doubting phrases and negative feelings that crop up, and how to deal with them.

I don’t deserve this!

You do. Whether you are taking the giant leap of quitting your day job, or simply ditching a family Game of Thrones marathon to dig out your old painting gear, all creative pursuits are worthwhile and valid. At the risk of sounding like an inspirational Instagram post, we only get one life, so why the hell wouldn’t you give it your best shot?

It is not a matter of 'deserving' or 'earning the right' to be creative. You don't need to justify it to anyone!

But (insert name here) is already doing this waaaaay better than I can!

You know the feeling: you’re feeling pretty good about yourself, chugging along on your creative projects,when a friend/colleague/stranger makes a big announcement. Perhaps they have an amazing book deal, or a huge solo exhibition, or they landed their dream creative job in Japan. You hug them and celebrate, but deep, deep down you feel a little stab of “Why not me? What is wrong with me? Do I suck?”

Morrisey even wrote a song about it: “We hate it when our friends become successful”, which goes “You see, it should’ve been me / It could’ve been me / Everybody knows / Everybody says so.”

This is a hard feeling. This feeling doesn’t make you a bad person (you can be genuinely happy for someone and still be slightly jealous at the same time), but it can be useful to examine that feeling further. Remind yourself of all the cool stuff you HAVE done, and the awesome things you are planning to do.  There is room for all of us, and there is plenty of work to go around.

 I don’t know what I’m doing!

Want to know a secret? Nobody actually knows what he or she is doing. It is a total ruse! Making mistakes, failing spectacularly, and starting again is all part of life. There is nothing you can’t find help on, either online or by asking people who have done it before.

When you are feeling overwhelmed and lost, try to cultivate a “what if?” attitude. Just try something that feels like a fairly good idea, then go from there. And remember, no one was born knowing how to code, or design, or knit. Learning new things is part of the fun!

But this is too scary/hard/overwhelming!

All the best things are scary. Sometimes, jumping in headfirst is the only way to give yourself the kick you need. But if you are feeling overwhelmed, then break the task down to the smallest component that you feel comfortable with. Want to start your own Etsy business but feeling totally overwhelmed? Just start by making a list of the kinds of thing you could sell. Take tiny, incremental steps towards your goal, then use the momentum to keep going.

I’m too poor/lazy/busy!

Well then, do what you can. Anything is better than nothing, right? Even the busiest working mother with multiple kids and a busy job can find time to crochet a few rows before bed, or scribble out her plans for starting a ceramics business. Work with what you’ve got. Heaps of resources and creative inspirations are free: go to the library and borrow art and business books, practice your floristry using blooms from your garden, or write your novel on your lunch break from your desk job.

Generally, a good way to deal with these kinds of doubts is to allow yourself to fully experience the negative feeling, acknowledge it, and then get on with your day. Let the fear and negativity in, say hello to it, but don’t let it stop you from getting on with being awesome. A favourite quote of mine is “A garden grows where you water it”, which means the things you nurture and pay attention to are what will grow the fastest. This goes for thoughts and actions as well as gardens: prioritise your creative pursuits and see what happens.

If you are genuinely struggling with anxiety, depression or feelings of overwhelm, I cannot stress the importance of talking to someone. Talk to your partner, your mum or a friend who gets it. Otherwise, seeing a counselor is an excellent way to sort out any issues in an objective way, and can help you get back on track. You don’t need to be in the depths of depression to seek professional help. In fact, seeking help when you are feeling good can help you handle the more serious emotions when times are tough.